Sunday, July 29, 2007

Friends

You know that saying, "Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold"--

I've gone through quite a few "sets" of friends in my life. Elementary was Heidi and Bethany from church and Tiffany Towne from school. Junior high was Wendy and Heather and still Heidi and Bethany. We moved to Mississippi and I was lucky to have one friend for those two years--Stacey. Then we moved back to Sugar Land and I had Julianne and Nancy and a whole new group of friends. Each friend brings back vivid memories from each stage of my life. It seems like up to this point, my friends were for the most part, the people I went to church with or the girls who I had classes with, and we just sort of fell into each other's hands.

Some of the best friends of my life were my college roommates. Stephanie, Megs, Anna, Heidi, Christine, Amy. The friendship started because we lived in the same dorm, and we sort of just fell into friendship together. They were a godsend for me. We still email all the time, and I find myself missing having that many people that I could turn to on a dime and giggle with while eating candy from the "Wilk".

Tonight we got together with my two best girl friends from the Avenues: Jen and Becky and their families. We used to walk through City Creek Canyon nearly every day. We now get together every few months since we all live about 30 minutes away from each other. It's always so fun to be reunited, but it makes me sad that we can't be a part of the "everyday moments" like we used to be.

I am trying to make "new friends" here in my new neighborhood. But I find myself missing the ease that came with previous friendships, and wonder sometimes why it has to be so hard, and why I have to be so selfconscious. I always wonder, do they really want to be my friend, like I would like to be theirs? Am I divulging too much of myself, when they are not sharing as much with me? I wish I could go back to the ease of elementary school days when Bethany and Heidi were the two girls I went to church with, so they were the two girls I was friends with. It seems like the more "friend options" there are, the harder it actually is!

I guess some friends are irreplaceable. Maybe that's what makes them so "gold." There's only one 7th-grade-Wendy to rig M.A.S.H. for you so you would end up with your secret crush in the end. Only one college Stephanie to laugh with and cry with until 3am with class the next day. Only one "Jen and Becky" to share 2 miles uphill everyday with 4 kids between us.

And so, my search continues, for my new friend or friends who will someday be a wonderful memory from this part of my life. To be continued....

5 comments:

bethany said...

Oh gosh-I totally agree that it's so hard to make friends now!! I sometimes think that I will never have close friends again-isn't that sad? Finding new friends is like dating all over again...and I hated dating. I've really, really had to make an effort (I never really did before-we just fell into it, like you said) and I still sometimes feel stupid when I call them. I don't want a "pity date" :) Anyway, I'm totally pickin' up what you're throwing down with this one!

Jeni said...

Old friends are truly "golden". I have been thinking that recently as well. I've made some friends that I've been thrown together with here in medical school but it's not the same as "old friends". It was so good to hang out with you guys. Next dinner is at our place!

laura mcgee designs said...

i cant agree with you more on this. we now live back in Washington and its good to be back around my best friend. utah was lonely. i couldnt find that one friend that i could relate with 100%. friends really help alot with life and i hope that i will always have a friend thats golden :)

rawhide said...

i miss good friends too!!!!! it was super easy back then. i always get random roommates and they become my friends as it is easy to have people like me....BUT.....i miss my college roommates from the first time at byu and i miss living with people that i am so excited to go home to and talk to...its kinda lonely sometimes....well, more times than others!! i'm not out for a pity date either and so i'm looking for a boy who is super excited to talk to me too......THE QUEST STILL CONTINUES....

Megs said...

I know what you mean. I am starting fresh here in Ann Arbor and it is scary. I'll be thinking of you as I put myself out there. I can't wait to see you in October.